Thoughts on 2 Corinthians 12

Today’s reading: 2 Samuel 10; 2 Corinthians 12

If I’m being honest, 2 Corinthians 12 has some very difficult instruction for me.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I have a hard time admitting my weaknesses, let alone boasting in them…

From a logical and/or theological standpoint, this makes complete sense to me, and it lines up pretty well with what we were talking about a few days ago in 2 Samuel 5. In 2 Samuel we were talking about how David, despite his great competence as a military leader and strategist, sought the Lord rather than relying on his own wisdom and ability. The result for David was a battle the Lord fought for him instead of David and his men having to rely on their own power and ability in any way.

So when we are talking about the infinite, all powerful, all knowing creator of all that exists, it’s pretty easy to say, “Yeah, He would be better at this thing than I am,” no matter how strong or competent I may be in that area. What Paul says here makes complete sense then, that if/when we, in weakness, give God room to act, that is when His power will shine through, but if we, in assurance of our own strength and ability, step out to act on our own, what room is there for God to display His power? So logically, I can 100% say with Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong,” because it is in recognition of my own weakness that I give God room to act and allow His power and ability to come through rather than my own.

But logical understanding of the point doesn’t make it easy for my heart to follow along.

I spent much of my life with really only a single goal in mind, “Prove I am good enough.” For years I never felt like I was good enough, and no matter how much I achieved or how much I excelled in any given area, it was never enough. I lived under this constant, gnawing sense of my own inadequacy, and largely just felt like nothing I did would ever be enough for the people around me. I remember hitting a point though of undeniable worldly success where I started feeling like I had gotten so competent and achieved so much in what I was doing, that my value should really be undeniable, and if others didn’t see that, that was a problem with them rather than me. The problem was that in all of it, my identity was rooted in my own strength and ability. Even after coming to know the Lord and being given a new identity in Christ, this didn’t fade. In one sense, Christianity just gave me a new outlet to express my competence and prove my value by working hard, winning the lost, raising disciples, teaching well, etc. It wasn’t that I didn’t see my need for the Lord in these things, but I would say I largely viewed my need for Him as supplementing my own great contributions to His work.

This is obviously all a far cry from what Paul is talking about here in 2 Corinthians 12. I spent so much of my life working out of my own strength and taking/proving my value by my own strength and ability, that the idea of actively admitting my weakness grates against me. I’m sure nobody likes to admit weakness, but for most of my life that never seemed like an option at all. So the theological reality that God’s power is perfected in my weakness, as much as I understand it and agree with it, has a difficult time making its way to my heart to change the way I live day-to-day.

I will say though that this is an area where God has greatly changed me over the years since I came to know Him. He has taught me to take my identity more and more from Christ and less and less from myself and my accomplishments, which does make it easier to admit my weakness and need, but still not natural or easy, if I’m being honest. I need God to continue to grow and change me here, and to continue to teach me to rest in who He has made me in Christ rather than who I am able to make myself. I want His power to shine through in my life. I want it to be Christ, rather than me, that people are encountering when they meet me. I want God’s power to be perfected in my weakness, so I need God to teach me, like Paul, to rather boast in my weaknesses if it means I get more of Him.